It’s time for a break

25th June 2023

I joined twitter back in August of 2014. At that time, I was finally coming to terms with my gender after years of personal torment. I had already been to the doctors and had a referral to a Gender Identity Clinic. My GP was excellent, and I instantly became known in the practice as an anomaly, the only trans person on their books and entirely accepted by the practice and their team. I was later to be a frequent visitor to them over the months and years that followed, which was unheard of for me. I cannot remember the time before that first appointment in April of 2014 when I had visited them.

The reason I joined Twitter was that although I was finally getting my head around the mess of my personal life, I still really didn’t know anyone like me, and I felt very alone. It was a saviour. I instantly found likeminded people. Who knew! Some of whom over the years, have become friends and acquaintances in real life. It became a breath of fresh air and remained that way for probably 3-4 years.

In the last few years, Twitter has changed beyond recognition to how I remember the platform in those early years. Elon Musk has had something to do with that  but it started before his purchase of Twitter.

I sort of sound like an old git, don’t I! “Oh, it’s not the same anymore!”

I guess a few things have changed. The rise of the Gender Critical cult and the change of Twitter ownership resulting in new algorithms – meaning what I see is very different nowadays. The Gender Critical cult, in this country at least was born out of the proposed changes to the Gender Recognition Act around self identity. The then prime minister Theresa May ran a consultation to gauge public opinion. The consultation essentially concluded positive support for the proposed changes. Still the cult, which had very powerful backers and influencers convinced the powers that be not to act on the recommendations. This was the start. The gloves were off. They moved onto trans participation in sport and have gained a larger platform. Right now, they are attacking the equalities act and trying to get new laws for single sex spaces changed to exclude women like me. The virtual ping pong between a hateful cult and the trans community is never ending and shows no signs of letting up. If this is not bad enough, if you overlay on top of the change in the way Twitter operates it makes the platform intolerable.

I spend an unhealthy amount of time in my life not wanting to see the hate but compelled to be outraged by it and sometimes dipping my toe into the toxic water and getting involved. The algorithms fill me feed with people I would despise in real life, and eventually I end up, muting or blocking, normally not before their toxic poison has leached itself into my veins. Then Twitter replaces the muted or blocked people with other equally abhorrent individuals. The cycle of hate is a perpetual motion machine in perfect harmony.

See, the thing is, being transgender is what I am, not who I am, and I am not strong enough for this. I wish I were. There is only so much I can take of being made to feel worthless. My life is as good now in my early 60s as it ever has been. I live an authentic life, true to myself and have no regrets. The circle of people in my life and the society I live in locally do not share hate of the GC cult, and I truly believe if I were not on Twitter I would not hear anything like the bigotry I read, day in, day out on the platform.

I NEED TO CHANGE MY HABITS. I NEED TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIOUR, AND I NEED TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT TWITTER (at least for now). 

So, this blog is embedded into my last tweet for now. I will not delete my account but I will mothball it from myself, at least until the clocks go back.

What I have learnt from our society over the last few years is that, apart from a few:  

Haters will hate

Intolerance is rife on all sides

There is no such thing as “free speech”

We can be better than what Twitter has offer

AND THERE I NOTHING I CAN SAY OR DO THAT WILL CHANGE THAT.

I will remain a weak, woke woman who cares about people other than myself and make no apologies for that.

If you see me back on Twitter at any time, at least before the clocks go back, then shout at me, please.

Laters…

Veronica x