13th September 2018
Last time I had a holiday that did not involve visiting family or short weekends away was early in 2014. Ok, in that 4 plus years since I have been to the other side of the world (twice) to visit my daughter and I could count those, but for the purpose of this blog I won’t, because I am writing it and they are my rules.
In that same period I have moved house (twice) and moved to another work site on the south coast. But then if you read my blogs you already know that don’t you. That is really what I want to talk write about in this blog. So the title of this blog is called “Friends”.
It’s funny you know, every time I put speech marks round the word “Friends” I always want to say it like the boys from the Inbetweeners would have. It always made my cringe, as back in the day I had very few “Friends” as such. This was a choice I suspect. My closest friend has always been my partner and I felt comfortable with that. I had other friends of course but never ones that I managed to get really close to. I guess my introverted nature just didn’t need it.
Of course, this is fine when you are in a relationship, or at least it was for me. I had everything I needed. It’s when you step outside of that that things get messy. Talking of messy; that last holiday included a dose of sickness and cabin quarantine for 2 days as firstly my then partner, then I challenged one another to empty our stomachs in double quick time by any means possible.
Anyway, once that relationship ended and I transitioned. All of a sudden I was pretty alone. I never felt it because, surprise, surprise I was actually liking myself a whole lot more by then. This masked the fact that I was alone and over time I managed to build up a social circle of these “Friends” that I would see infrequently, primarily because of geography and the fact that the majority of these friends were going through the same shit as me and like all of us, we had our own paths and priorities to focus on.
One of the things I always struggled with was building a social circle at work. I don’t know if tried hard enough or whether the fact that I transitioned in the workplace actually held people back in accepting me. Or maybe they just thought I was a twat, which perfectly possible. Whatever the reason was, I don’t really know but one thing I have noticed is that when you work in a place where people only know you as the person you are, life becomes a whole lot easier. Yes, they know about me. I am an open book in that respect. But they only know me as me not the person before. People often say to me, “I can’t imagine you were ever …….” You know the rest. To which I reply “I wasn’t, I just pretended for way to long…..”
So since being down here on the south coast working, which is approaching a year now I have made “Friends”. I mean proper “Friends” that I see on a social basis outside of work. Since moving down my social life has exploded, which is unheard of for me. I have to tell you that I am liking this new found acceptance and friendships. I am always going to be introverted. This part of me will not change. However the inner confidence and sense of wellbeing I feel nowadays, I have not felt, well ever! Life will always have one or two challenges and I am no different. As long as I reason with those I am ok. I seem to be doing ok there for now.
I started this blog talking about holidays and that is where I will finish it because today I fly to Turkey with the Fitch-Bird, my bestie friend from work. We spend a week in the sun and will no doubt consume too much of, well everything. Who would have thought that me, yes me, would have “Friends”.
All my love